This job search thing really sucks. I know that isn’t particularly eloquent, but I’m too tired of this struggle to make it sound pretty. I received an e-mail today telling me that they chose someone else for a position that I really hoped to get. It said they only interviewed four or five people out of the more than 100 resumes they received, so I suppose that should make me feel a little better. I had another interview this week with a similar response – over 130 applicants and I was one of five interviewed. I don’t think I did very well in the interview, though, so I’m not holding out much hope. Yes, it’s great that I make it to the top five, but that means I’m competing against others who are also very good.

What makes it especially difficult is that I’ve fallen into the jobs that I’ve had so far. In twenty years I’ve worked for only three different companies. Before this, I’d only interviewed twice, and I got the job both times. Interviewing is difficult for me – I tend to start blathering on about things that I don’t really need to talk about. I’m good with people, but it’s like my brain just takes off down the wrong road.  I have a lot of marketable skills, but not much marketable education. Plus there’s the difficulty explaining just exactly WHY I’m currently unemployed. Hmm, well, see, I f’d up at the last job, although so did the owners. Can’t really go into it (and certainly won’t here).

I’m at the point where I’m considering jobs completely outside my work experience. I’ve worked in an office for the past twenty years, and I just applied to work at a department store makeup counter. Nothing wrong with the work, certainly, it’s just not what I’m trained to do. I’m also applying for a temporary job doing assembly work. Hot, dirty, physical, but hey, it’s an income. I’ve signed up at a temp agency, but they seem to be ignoring me. I need to contact some others and see if they have anything available. I’m sending out resumes whenever I see something reasonable, but it’s to the point that I need to consider jobs that require a couple of hours of travel time every day. I’d rather stay within 20 miles or so, but I’ve exhausted all of those possibilities.

Sigh. It’s been a long day, and I’m a little down. I’ve been able to avoid dwelling on it for the past week or two thanks to the quilting deadlines, but now that I have free time, I’m back to worrying. Part of me wants to jump into another quilting project, but another part feels like I SHOULD be worrying about this, as if worrying will make a job magically appear.